Been Awhile Because...

It's been awhile since I've written in here, not that I haven't thought about it, but it seems I find myself wanting to talk about a subject that is really hurting my heart right now. I guess I haven't been wanting to write about it because I just don't want to think about it, but I find myself thinking about it most of the time, so I guess I'll share it on here. Who knows, maybe someone out there will understand my problem, or someone else might be going through something like it and it will encourage you to know that you are not alone. So let me get to it.

I have two sons. They never did get along, and now that they are adults, they still don't get along, but it's not that they haven't tried. In their own ways, each at different times, they did try to reach out to each other, but it never really worked. So even though I know they love each other, they will never have a close relationship like I would like them to have, and like they would like to have. Their personalities just clash too much, I guess.

I've learned how to deal with this, so this is not the problem I'm going to talk about. It's my youngest son.

It seems he has always found life difficult and hard to deal with. He has always felt sorry for himself, never learned how to laugh at himself, and seems to seek drama. One of the ways he keeps drama in his life is just by taking off and not letting any of his family know where he is. He's done this several times now, and eventually comes back. He definitely is my prodigal son. His dad and I have learned how to deal with the pain he causes us when he does this. He always claims it's not because of us, but that he just has problems that he needs to deal with on his own. Okay...I get that. I'm not one of those mom's who is smothering. If my sons want space, I give it to them, but his way of running off all the time is ridiculous!

As I said, I can deal with how it makes me feel, but now he has gone and run out of his 4 (soon to be 5) year old son's life! HOW DARE HE! His ex-wife is allowing us to continue to see our grandson, so I still get time with my grandson and each and every time he is with me, he breaks my heart by telling me how he misses his daddy. The last time we were together, he asked me if I still missed Daddy. I, of course, said yes. He was close to tears when he asked me.

He has lost his first two teeth, and is so excited about this, and can't even share this sweet life event with his own dad, because apparently Daddy is too worried about himself to be here for his own son!

So my problem is, I don't know how to deal with the pain that he is causing my grandson.

It's just not right. But what can I do, except keep my son in my prayers, and continue to be there for my grandson. I have two other grandsons by my oldest son, and I praise God that he is a good Christian man who treats his family right.

I love them all...

He Grew The Tree

The other day, here at home, I was going though some old papers, trying to throw out things I've had for way too long and I ran across the words to some very old songs. There was one that struck a special chord in my heart. I wasn't sure of the tune so I did a search online and found not only the lyrics but the song being sung.

"He Grew The Tree". I'm not sure if I ever really heard the song, but as I was reading the words, tears came into my eyes. I really want to share this with you.

HE GREW THE TREE

HE MOLDED AND BUILT,

A SMALL LONELY HILL,

THAT HE KNEW WOULD BE CALLED CALVARY.

THEN HE MADE THE SEED,

THAT WOULD GROW TO BE,

THORNS THAT WOULD MAKE HIS SON BLEED.

THEN HE MADE A GREEN STEM,

GAVE IT LEAVES AND THEN,

GAVE IT SUNSHINE AND RAIN,

AND SHELTERED IT WITH MOSS.

HE GREW THE TREE,

THAT HE KNEW WOULD BE,

USED TO MAKE THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.

NOTHING TOOK HIS LIFE,

WITH LOVE HE GAVE IT,

HE WAS CRUCIFIED,

ON A TREE THAT HE CREATED.

WITH GREAT LOVE FOR MAN,

GOD STAYED WITH HIS PLAN,

HE GREW THE TREE,

SO THAT WE MIGHT GO FREE.

WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES,

GOD LOOKED DOWN THROUGH TIME,

SAW HIM SPAT UPON,

REJECTED AND MOCKED.

STILL, HE GREW THE TREE,

THAT HE KNEW WOULD BE,

USED TO MAKE THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.

NOTHING TOOK HIS LIFE,

WITH LOVE HE GAVE IT,

HE WAS CRUCIFIED,

ON A TREE THAT HE CREATED.

WITH GREAT LOVE FOR MAN,

GOD STAYED WITH HIS PLAN,

HE GREW THE TREE,

SO THAT WE MIGHT GO FREE.

HE GREW THE TREE,

THAT HE KNEW WOULD BE,

USED TO MAKE THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.

CHUCK LAWRENCE WROTE THE MUSIC AND THE LYRICS FOR "HE GREW THE TREE" IN 1982.

BARBARA MANDRELL RECORDED THE SONG THAT EARNED SEVERAL DOVE AWARDS.

If these words touch your heart like they did mine, maybe you would like to visit the site that I found the song at. If so just click on this link: "He Grew The Tree"

Why "River Of Peace"

I'm sure I've not had many readers. At least not yet, but if there is anyone out there that has visited my little area of thoughts, then you might have noticed that I changed the name from Jeannie's Blogs to River Of Peace. The couple of people that might have read this would know where "River Of Peace" came from. For many years I sang in a southern gospel group and that was the name God gave us. While we no longer travel and sing, I still don't feel like God is done with His "River Of Peace".

"River Of Peace" was so much more than a traveling singing group. We ministered to many people in many ways. We shared more than our voices, we shared our lives. Our hurts, our passions, our thoughts, our prayers, our tears, and so much more. We devoted ourselves to this ministry and to all that God wanted us to do.

Just the name in its self is beautiful. But for me there is much more to it. God imbedded into me this peaceful place that flows like a river within me. When my days are stressed out, I seek God and feel I find him deep within at this special place that feels like sitting on the bank of the most beautiful River Of Peace that you could ever imagine.

So while the part of traveling and singing may be over for "River Of Peace", I believe that I can still share God's ministry with you, right here. And while many of my musings may not have anything to do with ministering, I will still be sharing with you my hurts, my passions, my thoughts, my prayer, my tears, and so much more, and maybe in something that I might share, I can help you to find this beautiful place that I like to call, "River Of Peace".

May God's peace flow within you like a river.

Not Able To Update Tonight

Sounds crazy to put this on saying I wasn't able to update this tonight, when in a way, that's exactly what I'm doing...but I wasn't able to update the pages on here like I'm wanting to because I spent most of my evening with most of my favorite guys. Only little Ezra was missing, but I felt very lucky to have my husband, my son Drew, his son (my grandson) Gabe, and my grandson Conner with me tonight. We played a memory game and candyland, they played with some toys, and well, it was just nice to be with them.

So as I was going to say, I didn't really get to work on this tonight. I'm only posting now because I said this morning before I went to work that I would tonight. At least I think I did...that was a long time ago...or at least it feels like it. LOL

I'll try to get some done later this week, but it won't be tomorrow night either. Tomorrow, I get to spend the evening with my mom. We're going to eat spaghetti and watch movies. I'm looking forward to it.

Until later this week...may God bless you and all you do each day.

Starting To Get The Hang Of This

Okay, so if there is anyone besides me that has been reading these, then you now know that I seem to be getting the hang of creating this site.

I now have figured out how to create more than one page, and how to put YouTube video on here, as well as figuring out just how many "Gadgets" are too many. AND I did this without asking my sister. Although she would have gladly helped me. I still love the look of her blog pages.

Oh my. I have to go to work now, but I'll be back and post more on here after I get home. I'm hoping to share some pictures of some of my creations. Have a good day!

Trying Out The Whole Design Thing

Okay, so I thought I'd just play around in here and try to figure out this whole design thing for my blogs. Since I've not really thought a lot about things I'd like to tell you, I thought about things that I'd like to share with you, like some of my favorite pics...so I added the "Gadget" for the slide show. Hum...well, it looks like I can add photos from photo sites. I chose photobucket. (Man, I sure hope no inappropriate pictures show up!) I love butterflies so I put that as my key word. If there are any nasty pics that show, please don't get upset with me. If I find out there are nasty pics showing, I'll either figure out how to have only the pics I want, or I'll just remove it. Next I thought I'd love to share some of my favorite YouTube videos with you. (My sister has them on her blog pages) So I thought, wow, what a great idea. I'll put my son's videos on here so you can enjoy them too. Well, I think they're there. LOL Ok, ok, so now I've got some "Gadgets" going on here and I think I'd really like to have them not all on the same page. Well, for now you are just going to have to see them all on this one page...my "Home" page. I'll just have to break down and ask my sis how she put more than one page on hers. Isn't that what sisters are for? To help you when you need them? Well, my sisters are like that. They always help me when I need them. I sure hope they feel the same about me. I'm the baby of the family, so if I'm not quite as helpful as they are, it's all their fault! They raised me, after all. LOL or so they tell me. But seriously, I do love them. They really are what sisters are all about. I guess one of the next things I need to figure out about posting my blogs is to figure out how to make paragraphs! This one paragraph thing is kinda driving me a little crazy. LOL But I'll get it figured out. If you actually read any of this, just stay tuned...there will be changes taking place, I promise you that.

My first blog on here.

I'm trying to figure out what it is I would like this first blog to say. Should I talk about me? Should I talk about my family? I already talked a little bit in my profile about me, but I suppose blogging is really all about telling everyone that might be interested in what I have to say, things that might interest me. I'm setting up this site to blog on, but not sure if I'm doing it correctly. I suppose I'll figure it all out as time goes on, maybe, just maybe I'll even be able to post some pretty interesting stuff. For now, I suppose I'll end up talking about things happening in my life, or things that have happened already in the past, and maybe I'll even talk about things I hope for in the future. Maybe someone will like reading my blogs, and maybe not, but I guess this gives me a chance to fill someones ear besides my wonderful husbands. LOL I hope you have a great day.